When I look back at all that happened to me last year, it feels impossible that I’ve actually made it this far without caving or breaking or giving up on it all.
I was so ready to end it all, and it just kept getting worse and worse by the week throughout the entire year, constantly one thing after another.
But all these thoughts of “what would so and so do if I were dead?” circled frequently around my head and that’s about the only thing that kept me going, so for that I am grateful for all the people who needed me and made me feel like I had a purpose, and even to the people who just used me, because if it weren’t for feeling like I was needed and useful, I wouldn’t be here anymore.
Now things are different, and it’s still not perfect by any means but it’s getting there, and things are good, things are safe, and I’m actually happy, for the first time in so long I can finally say that I’m happy and I truly want to be here.
Thank you to those who gave me a reason to stay, and thank you to those who give me so many reasons to enjoy my life the way it is now.
Art of Depression 